WHAT IS A PROXY?
REACHING OUT TO A CRISIS SERVICE FOR A PROXY
What to expect when calling a crisis prevention service:
Everyone will have a different experience.
1.The objective of contacting a Proxy is to engage in a preliminary conversation about your reason for using violence, and yet be open to hear options for a better way out.
2.Be spontaneous. There is no need to wait for the best moment or best scenario to reach out to a Proxy. It is important to know, even if it is urgently recommended to call a Proxy as soon as possible, that any Proxy can intervene at any time, even if your conflict has shown red flag interactions with the person or group you are in conflict with.
3.Even if you feel a certain distance from the Proxy you first speak to at an agency, they are following a procedure to provide you with the support you need. They may ask you questions that you do not feel like answering. Only a licensed Proxy/Counselor will provide a deeper sense of connection because they will set up regular interventions and counseling sessions. However, Proxies working at emergency crisis hotlines have proved multiple times their incredible dedication to provide immediate assistance.
4. Taking the first step to reach out for help can be intimidating, remember that Proxies, on the other side of the line have received training for this purpose and are eager to help you. It is also important to know that Proxies might not have answers for everything, but they will direct you, if needed to the right services where your concern will be acknowledged.
5. While you might not go through all your history, during this first conversation with the Proxy, you may want to prepare notes about the biggest struggles during your conflict. You may find that writing out what is going on can put you at ease before reaching out to a Proxy.
It is also encouraged to have a paper and pen handy in case you need to take notes while on the call with your Proxy.
6. You might be put on hold. Do not despair. Some services are overwhelmed with calls but are dedicated to give you the assistance you need, as quickly as possible. Do not hang up, so you can keep your turn, in a queue. If you are on hold, use the time to look through your personal notes, as previously recommended and revise them if necessary.
7. Once you reach the Proxy, they might ask you basic questions, just to get a sense of the emotional and mental state that you are at, at that moment, before going into the details of your situation.
8. Do not be afraid of being judged. The Proxy has the best intention for you and will never intentionally put you in an uncomfortable situation. Being truthful and detailed with the Proxy is very important, so it will help the Proxy give you feedback for taking your next step to reach your goal towards regaining a sense of well-being.
9. Some services are made to only deescalate your immediate thought of using violence, while other services may offer long term assistance, by providing regular counseling sessions. Be open to scheduling sessions and have your calendar available.
10. After listening to your situation, the Proxy might recommend you to a different service with the right Proxy according to your needs. This may happen more than once, not because out of carelessness, but due to targeting the best support you need. Understanding that you are in a fragile state of mind, you might have to repeat your situation and answer similar questions to different Proxies. Take deep breaths and visualize and trust there will be a positive outcome that will come out from your patience and understanding.